Oscars 2014

Will was so confused when I turned off the Oscar ceremony after about 5 minutes:

"I thought you were so excited about this!"
"I haven't been in a movie theater in 9 months - I haven't seen a single one of these movies. 'Oscars' means red carpet, and red carpet only this year."

So let's jump right in, shall we?


Last night was dominated by neutrals, so I can't rag on Sarah Paulson too much for that. But she looks exactly like Kristen Wiig before she started figuring out how to wear not-beige dresses, so that's not great. For crying out loud, bring in some color with makeup or jewelry at least!

This one is especially depressing when you realize that Margot Robbie looked like this a few short weeks ago. Overhauling your image so completely might not be the best idea when you're still an up-and-comer and mostly known for your looks.

I'm actually weirdly torn about Kerry Washington - her hair, makeup, shoes and accessories are all gorgeous. But at the end of the day she looks like she literally wrapped a satin sheet around her baby bump and headed out the door.

No mixed emotions here at all. Anna Kendrick's dress looked good from the back, but the front was a mess with the sheer panel, red daisies, and awkward Angelina leg pop. And her hair and makeup are sad (though everyone kept blaming that trend on the weather).


You guys know that I always want to love JLaw. Even if she tripped again, she still looks pretty beautiful. I didn't even care that she did the backwards necklace look for back-to-back Oscars, because I was too busy bemoaning the fact that I don't have a dress/occasion to do it myself. The half-peplum look is super weird to me, but again, she seemed to be pulling it off. But when I realized that she has the exact same hairstyle as Emma Thompson, it brought me back down to earth and I admitted that I couldn't love this. 

It seems mean to criticize two pregnant ladies (though I did leave out Elsa Pataky and there's truly no excuse for what she wore), but Olivia Wilde was so close to being a knockout. I thought the mod look was great with her features, the hair and makeup were lovely...but there is just some really unfortunate seaming going on in the chest area. Seems like someone should have caught and fixed that.


Jennifer Garner was kind of a huge surprise for me...is she even making movies right now? She looked beautiful, and even what appear to be atrocious shoes weren't enough for me to put her in any other category. And such a nice hair color for her!

Again, the neutrals were totally boring, but at least Cate Blanchett had the best of the lot. So pretty.

Sandra Bolluck looked like she dressed to win an Oscar. Gorgeous color, draping, hair, jewels...so classic.

We all knew Lupita Nyong'o was going to knock it out of the park - the only question was what direction she'd take. She's pulled off conservative, retro, and mod all so well, but this princessy look (with spike earrings for a bit of edge) seemed perfect for a debut Academy Awards. I wish this picture showed off "Nairobi blue" better, and the metallic thread accents that she said evoked champagne...this dress is immediately going to be on all classic Oscar dresses lists.


It probably seems like with the way I was just gushing the last dress should be my favorite, but Charlize Theron actually won the night for me. The drama and detail (pleats, illusion, and sheer, but somehow not too busy?) instantly made everyone else seem too casual in my opinion. Plus the necklace is killer, the nail polish is fun, and she rocks a bob like no one else...and there were a surprising number of bobs on the red carpet this year.

What did you guys think?


  1. I think Cate's look would have been AMAZING with red lipstick.

  2. When Lupita said that her dress was inspired by champagne bubbles, I might have clapped my hands. As always, I love your recap. I also wanted to send a letter to all the stars that said this:
    "Dear Residents of Southern California:
    The rest of the country has to deal with rain, humidity, wind, WEATHER, all the time and we can STILL make our hair and makeup look acceptable.
    Stop with the excuses."
    My favorite outfits of the night were the dress on the woman sitting beside Bradley Cooper and the maroon amazing ball gown worn by the no-name woman who won best makeup and hair whatever.

    1. Seriously! I was appalled by Amy Adams hair, but then she started saying halfway down the carpet that she had just put it up because of the rain. Umm, did she put it up herself in the back of the limo? If they're going to incur our jealousy for having teams of people to make them look good, they should use them.

  3. Yes! Charlize Theron's dress reminded me of John Singer Sargent's Portrait of Madame X with the neckline and sheer off-the-shoulder straps. Appropriate for the dramatic night. I also haven't seen any of the movies but watch just to critique the dresses- love it!

    1. Kristen I literally just cheered - that ID is spot on!

  4. aaallllways love your recaps. but can we also talk about how classy Emma Watson always is?

    1. Always classy! I didn't like her hair, but man - I just love her.